The other side of REJECTION

He walks into a room and your heart flutters and swims around gracefully in your chest using different stokes. You tell your friends about him, this perfect man. Who looks, behaves and speaks the part of a perfect gentleman. Every single conversation is recorded in your mind and in your heart down to the tiniest detail.

You are a woman, slowly falling for a man allowing him into your personal space, moving boxes out of that room so that he can settle inside with no hindrance. Every single romantic analogy, parable or quote has to be a sign that his intentions for the relationship the two of you are romantic. There are signs. It’s in what he says and it’s in the way he behaves when he’s with you.

You wait…For him to make the first move because you are a lady and lady’s do not make advances. Several months go by and still the same kind of thing, the conversations that go on for ours and the sweet nothings in his words. Slowly you start to picture a future with this man because he is a dream. But then you realise you are falling for someone who does not belong to you. Well at least not until one of you plucks up the courage to tell the other how you really feel. You are afraid because rejection is imminent if you tell him, but if you don’t you may end up in a relationship with yourself.

You tell him and well, “He’s just not that into you.” What do you do then?

As women we are so used to having men approach us with propositions to take our friendships to the next level that we have created a pre-written letter of rejection just like Linda (in the picture above). We find it easy to say no, and move on as though nothing happened but we never stop to think that what is a simple NO to us, spells REJECTION for the other person.

It is easy to break someone’s heart and either think nothing of it, or be annoyed when they admit that they need time or space to move past what they are feeling. The worst kind of heartbreak is where someone has led you to believe you are special to them and then they slip the rug from under your feet because they have been falling for someone else.

Be careful not to be the person who does this to someone because we all have fragile hearts. We assume that men are immune because they have faced rejection over and over again. Don’t be silly, no one can get used to heartbreak.

And in the same token, avoid giving men the power to use you as their emotional blankets. When they need someone to talk you it’s you they call, at all hours of the night. They talk to you for hours about how misunderstood they are and how they feel so safe with you and they trust you more than anyone else. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but its very probable that you get the nightshift calls but someone else is being called during peak hours. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. Emotional relationships are so real, but because they are “undefined” it is so easy for you to believe you are delusional and do not deserve to be heartbroken.

Rejection is painful but if you can see a relationship does not seem to be going anywhere just get over yourself and be honest with the guy about how you feel because either way you could get hurt. Rather walk away from a relationship knowing the truth than stay, hoping for something that is never going to happen.



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