For years I believed that men should do the chasing. That men are the hunters and we are the hunted. I thrived from being chased and I enjoyed the flirtatious moments that came with a man being after me. I would never in a million years even consider telling a guy how I felt about him.
Until… That fateful incident. They say we learn through trial and error and whoever they are, I believe them. I spent over a year of my life getting to know a guy. Sure that we were building towards something. We spoke almost everyday. We would discuss everything under the sun. From God’s magnificence to the gum he stood on during the day. I spoke to my friends about him, everything we spoke about they knew and we analysed and we were convinced this guy was into me. Eh! One two one two Mr Man is in a relationship with someone else. Something I found out AFTER I told him how I feel. OUCH!
Had I just said what I felt from the get go, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. I hinted, I flirted, I giggled, laughed at every joke, flicked my hair back when I was with him, I pouted I even drew an S with my foot when we were standing together all the hints we as girls assume show that we’re interested. Half the time, the hinting, it doesn’t work. Don’t do it just say what you want.
Our biggest problem as women is that we’ve formulated these rules for how we should behave. There are unjustified standards for a “lady” and we need to get over that. I mean seriously, why is it not ladylike for you to tell someone how you feel or what your intentions are? Why would it make a woman less desirable if she is upfront and honest about what she feels? We believe stating what we feel makes us look desperate. Oh come on! Then every man out there is also desperate. We believe we will lose our dignity. You’re not selling your body, chill.
We are extremely afraid of rejection but believe we when I say this: rejection is not the end of the world. Depending on the character that you have, you’ll deal with it in different ways. Either you’ll mope around and watch movies for 3 days straight, or more. Or you’ll laugh it off with friends. Whatever your methods, you will get over it. It’s an amazing learning experience you will emerge from it as a better person. It will help you grow. Just relax.
We assume just because men have been asking women out for a while that means they are experienced and do not feel the sting of rejection. That is nonsense. A boxer steps into the ring and although he has been punched countless times before, it still hurts. Yes, the blows won’t hurt as much as they did initially, but the pain is still there. That should help you though. That means after a while, you’ll learn to deal with it better yourself. Right?
Woman! You tend to put up a wall when it comes to a man you are really interested in. Your strength is very attractive to a man but sometimes you come across as intimidating a nd unapproachable to him. The way men and women relate is very different. After speaking to a few men it has come to my attention that there are many women that men have had slip through their fingers because they did not know where they stood with them. Sometimes, men would really like for you to state your interests. And you think they like the chase? The chase is more of a thrill for you because the attention is on you, not him.
Stop wasting time waiting for something that might never happen. Grab the bull by the horns and take advantage of the leap year. From here, it’s full steam ahead.
Use it, don’t use it but my advice to you if you like a guy and you’re at a standstill: Just go with it! You have nothing to lose and a lesson to learn, and quite possibly a good man to gain.