Crucifixion type of love? Can I fix myself first?

Before you read this post you need to listen to this:

When I first heard this poem I thought Wow! They exist. Good men, who are waiting and searching for good women to spend the rest of their lives with. I immediately thought, wow, there’s hope for us women. Then I said a short prayer. I asked God to send a man like that my way.

Then I listened to it again and though about it. I realised that I wasn’t ready for that man. The woman he spoke of, I’m not her. Not yet. The love he so beautifully described with his words, I’m not ready to give it nor am I ready to receive it. The man that he is deserves more than the woman I am right now.

As women, we sit down and we formulate a list. A list of requirements for the kind of man we want to be with. Even if you haven’t really sat down and thought about it, every man you reject doesn’t match up to some standard you’ve set. The problem however comes when you’ve set a standard but you are not the standard yourself.

You say you want a man that prays but when was the last time you really had a conversation with God? You say you want him to be an intellectually stimulating individual but the last book you read was a Cosmopolitan Magazine. You say you want him to be focussed but you’re just living every day as it comes along. You want to connect with a man emotionally but you are so closed off from your emotions. The wall you’ve put up around yourself doesn’t allow for you to trust anyone completely.

You cannot request something that you are not. It’s not fair to the man who meets your expectations. You need to work on yourself so that by the time you meet that man who understands and gives that “Crucifixion type of love” he sees Rachel and not Leah in you.

I’m not saying you need to be a diamond ready to be placed on a ring but at least resemble an uncut diamond.

Don’t just ask God for a good man, ask God to mould you into a good woman.

We all want that Crucifixion type of love.



6 thoughts on “Crucifixion type of love? Can I fix myself first?

  1. I loved this. It really is indeed a matter of introspection. I recently walked away from an extremely toxic relationship. I was so caught telling everybody about how badly he treated me, i didnt take time to be honest with myself and remember how badly i treated myself. We are quick to play victim, and give the power to the other forgetting the importance of knowledge of self. It is unfair for us to ask for amazing partners, when we dont know what type of partners we are. Thank you for this enlightening word, I will remember this, as i heal, and mould myself into a Rachel.


  2. Wow! Very Deep, I can truly identify with this piece…I just lost a guy who was truly everything I thought I ever I needed in a guy, but I on the other hand was not the perfect girl that I wanted him to be, in the end the relationship became a clash of ideologies. Thank you for this post it really opened my eyes.


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